Showing posts with label gender-equality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gender-equality. Show all posts

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Chore Wars - The Good Fight on the Homefront

As I have mentioned before, two of bf's cousins are coming in, this Thursday night in fact. Bf already took the Thursday off to get some last minute things done. Actually that means EVERYTHING, minus ALL the stuff I have already done. There's really not too much left to do, most of the cleaning I have done, much to my discontent. I am not bitter that I had to do it, I am annoyed by the bf & roommate's procrastination to wait until the absolute last minute.

This past Sunday when I found out from roommate the exact date the cousins were coming, I was a bit miffed because aside from the work bf did with me on the long weekend, neither of them had lifted a finger. I said to roommate, "Great! That means I'm doing everything!" At that point, roommate reassured me that there was still time and he would get lots done on his day off yesterday. I didn't really believe it but was pleasantly surprised on Monday night when he asked me specifically for a list of to-dos. I gave him a manageable list to which he kept insisting on more so I would not have to do it but I did not say more, it would've been enough if he did all of it. Here's the list, a * indicates what he actually accomplished:

1) move drumset & plywood out of living room
2) return beer bottles
3) remove his own extra shoes from front hall
4) break down all the cardboard boxes lying around in the living room

5) clear boxes, steamer & ironing board in spare bedroom (I've already stacked the boxes together) *
6) vacuum & deodorize couch of doggy stank *
7) sweep & mop main floor (he mopped bathrooms upstairs too) *
8) bf added this because this is SOOOO important: clear dead weeds from driveway cracks *

Okay so that's a fairly big list but a lot of these did not have to wait for his day off. Granted he did a great job of what he did do but he was rushing to finish mopping the floor still when I got home at 8pm. You figure in an 8 hour day assuming he slept in that late, a person promising to do chores so that I "didn't have to end up doing it all" would have accomplished more. Then he went out to his mom's and said he would break down all the boxes when he came home. To which I said, no it's okay I can do it coz you did a lot. At that point I assumed more work had been done. He still insisted he would do them when he came back. In the end, I don't think he came home until 12:30am. At which point, bf asked him about moving the extra cupboard sitting in the living room, they both agreed they would. It still sat there by the time I went to sleep at 4 am (because I could not fall asleep).

When he came home, I showed him 2 notes I wrote on the fridge for him and bf to see. 1 is a list titled Don't tell me any of these are unneccesary, just DO IT! of 11 chores I want done by the time the cousins are here, I will contribute to these. The other was a detailed list of everything I had done since I got off work that day. Here's how it went:

"5:30 pm - Get off work
6:00 pm - Walmart to get extra bed sheets & pillowcases for spareroom
6:30 pm - Weekly grocery shopping
7:45 pm - arrive home, put away groceries
8:00 pm - Chill out on computer
9 - 11 pm - wash & dry new sheets & dog bedding
- move 2 mattresses & make beds in spare room
- clean bathroom (minus shower), main floor washroom, toilet & mirror in roommate's bathroom
- break down all cardboard boxes in living room
- put plywood in living room back into garage
- move & organize junk lying around basement laundry area
- sweep used areas in basement
11:00 pm - made dinner
This is what I did today after work. What did you do with your "spare" time? The point is not that you have to do all that much, but do something. FIND something!"

I don't think I am being unfair. I've told bf to look at the list on the fridge too but he insists there is time. Neither of their behavior is excusable but it's not my role to force them to work. All I can do is put on some pressure and that's it. I know if I pressure roommate too much he will just resent it but you know what? I am definitely not wrong in this case and I'm not being particularly bitchy either so there's really nothing either of them could say that would be justified.

There is a real Chore Wars by the way, a chore distributing RPG game that allows party members to share chore "quests" and "gain experience" the more they do. I am not making this up.